"You Wear It Well"......

I have spent the majority of my life surrounded by people under 4 feet tall.....

Not "Little People", mind you........

Actual Children......

Mine, and other people's.....

I started babysitting at age 11, and never looked back....

I've always considered myself pretty "Kid Friendly"......

Plus, I was 41 years old before I ever dared swear in my Father's house, and that was an accident..... ( post for another day)

So imagine my surprise this morning when I discovered that this blog is rated NC-17..... ( I had to look it up........ I didn't even know what that was..... shouldn't that tell the "Gods Of Rating" SOMETHING about my general character???)

Apparently. Not.


It's my own fault......

I saw a rating over at my Bloggy Friend's "Housewife Savant" 's blog..... http://housewifesavant.blogspot.com/

A shiny new button to play with.....

I wanted one.......

"Monkey see... Monkey Do"... and all that.....


Also..... "Housewife" was an "R", I think....

Curiosity compelled me to wonder: "What Am I"????

I know....... common sense, and general life experience, should have taught me.... long ago.......

That when you have to ask..........

The answer is never good.......

Dusting off my dunce cap, and skipping over there anyway......

You put your info in, and wait while the "Ratings Gods" go take a "Naked" look at your blog.......

Next time I'm just going to invite them into the bathtub with me......

The verdict came back........

NC-17 for the following offenses.....

Hell ( x7.... make that 8 )

Okay........... I don't think I've referred to Hell 7 times.... whoops...... NINE


Hands in the air, pleading: "Guilty As Charged"........


So try spending the day with a colicky baby, and no Frosting in the house.......


and then come back and talk to me........... ( you'll be a wiser person..... I assure you)


moving along......


Death x2


Dying x7


I know that at times I am a morose little soul........ ( especially on those very special, circled in red days, on my calendar)


But, and you'll pardon the pun here.....


this seemed like "Overkill", even for me..........


I take the stand in my own defense.......

I'm a CNA...... ( Certified Nurses Assistant.... soon to be a med tech.... YAY!!!)


I work with elderly people......

I've seen Death come for people.........

Seen it in all of it's many forms......

The Painful, The Heart breaking, The Peaceful, and, yes..... Even The Beautiful.. ( trust me)

I've held sobbing wives and daughters in my arms.......

Sometimes I forget myself, and cry with them.........

It makes me human, and certainly a better CNA in the end.....

I've learned some things along the way.......

The most important???


Death is a lot like Sh@T.........

IT. HAPPENS.

Ignoring it will not make it go away........

( I've tried this with my bills, the bathroom scale, and my Ex...... I'm here to tell you...... IT. DOES. NOT. WORK. )


I understand wanting to protect your children at all costs..........


I've had my heart in my throat, watching my baby learn to walk.....( away from me.....)


I'm just saying......

That by the time a child is old enough to turn on a computer, and stumble across my blog....... ( Parental Controls, People..... they're a marvelous thing.... of course.... children are the only ones capable of programming them.....)


Say,by age 15........

A child should have a general under standing of the concept "Death"

He or she has hopefully been enlightened......


"Goldie The Goldfish" is not floating belly up on the top of the bowl, because she has gone on an "Extended Vacation"..........

She has completed her circle of life, and it is time for a reverent flushing ceremony.......


moving along......


To my very favorite.........


BREAST x 1 ............


Those of you who know me in "Real Life" probably know where this is headed........


You're free to go grab a coffee......

To my new bloggy friends.......

my loyal readers.... ( I LOVE typing that..... :-) )

This is me..........

all me..... all the time.........

Cover your eyes if you must ( If you're a man.... I strongly suggest it right about now)

Ready......???

To The Gods Of All Things Ratings..........


Lean in close..........

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.......


I. AM. A. WOMAN.


I. HAVE. BREASTS.

SOMETIMES. I. LIKE. TO. TALK. ABOUT. THEM.

It's purely a girl thing.........

Come on back next week.....

I'll be bragging up my pap smear......

YES......

I am NC-17.........


I've earned it.........

And I wear it proudly...

( Footnote....... BREAST???? Singular????? My girls are a matched set....... they go places together....... I've never singled one out for favoritism..... I'm sure I could win an appeal on this angle....)

"Gods Of All Things Ratings"......

You're dismissed....

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.....