"The Goodbye Girl".......

A couple of months ago my granddaughter, Jocelyn, learned to wave

bye bye...........

She's my first grandchild, I love her more than air, and I have no life, so this was a pretty big thing....

I'd been working with her over skype for what seemed like forever , "Jocelyn.... can you say bye bye for grammie...??? wave bye bye"!!!!!

( have you ever been looked at like you'd lost your mind... by a six month old???)

And I'd wave like a maniac at the screen.....

Till one day she looked down at her little hand, she picked it up, and she waved like a maniac........

( okay... she was waving at herself..... and laughing like hell... she was six months... cut her some slack )

I was all excited at her new skill.........

Her mother was not.

Heather: "We're not teaching her Goodbye..... Goodbye is negative, and it's sad... we say, see you later "

I blame myself

When Heather and her brothers were growing up, we were not big on "Goodbye".....

I found it negative, and sad.... and if you're wishing someone "Goodbye" as they're walking out the door... you're just begging for a visit from the bad luck fairy....

I suppose when you have small children, you concentrate on everything new and beginning.....

Babies bring beginnings with them...........

.

They're made for first smiles, first steps......

That first touch of new skin.........

The one that wraps this child around the fabric of your heart, tighter than super glue clings to the first valentine........

Goodbye implies an ending............

and it's impossible to stand in the glow coming off the candles on your child's first Birthday cake, and imagine the day you'll have to let this child go.............

As incomprehensible as it is to understand........

To wrap your mind around...........

Your child begins leaving you, the moment he or she begins independent breathing free of you.....

That first lusty wail is a declaration of their independence......

We teach them to walk and talk, and hopefully to be kind, considerate, and responsible.......

And then we send our helpless babies into a world we pray will always be kind, and will never hold the sadness, the finality, that "Goodbye" brings with it........

We stand at wedding altars, in dorm rooms, in airports and train stations, with tears swimming in our eyes, as we swallow around the lump of reality named "Goodbye" ( or it's sister: "See you later" )

"Goodbye", has taken a hell of a rap, hasn't it??

Goodbye carries an ending, it's true.......

But don't old things have to come to a natural end, in order to make way for new things in our lives???

New jobs, new friends, new places to see.............

and let's not forget new babies...........

I'm not saying goodbye....... I'm saying I'm making way for new things in my life....

Has a much nicer ring to it, don't you think??

Thanks for reading!!!!

an introduction.. and a mother/daughter moment

hi out there in cyberspace.....
This is my first attempt at this.. and I'm nervous..... So......... I'll
just give you some facts about me, and then end with an e mail that I sent this morning.... and hopefully, next time.... I won't feel like I've just been lined up in front of a firing squad.... AND they're out of cigarettes.......
I don't smoke..... but that would be my luck........ ok......... I'm Janine..... I live in the middle of Northern nowhere, where "McDonalds" is the nearest 5 star restaurant...... I work as a CNA, not one of your "Glamour" jobs....... but I've found "Glamour" to be highly overrated, and I love my job.... most days........ I'm in my "Young" forties.......... this means the beginning part of forty... rather than the further end..... when you get close to that "5" number....... I'm in what my doctor calls "Peri Menopause"...... I think this was her nice way of calling me a bitch........ :-) now.... Martha Stewart would do menopause great.... she'd smile, and tell you to think of your hot flashes as a way of conserving global energy....... and that chocolate bar that you're about to kill your 10 year old for?????? You don't really want that...... no, no....... you see........ Chocolate causes pimples in woman "OUR AGE" and we don't want that....... now, do we???????? and let's be real here...... the 10 year old??????? He or she will have it burned off in about a half of a second..... the very act of eating it..... will burn it off...... in the KID..... ( I hate kids.....) YOU, however.... will carry that chocolate bar with you for the rest of your life.. right on your hips....... and your.... "You know where"......... and if your "You know where".... looks anything like mine........ well..... we don't really want that either now, do we?????????? Really..... I hate having reached "OUR AGE"...... which is why..... Martha is Martha...... and I'm Janine....... and She's a millionaire....... let's not forget that...... :-)
Anyway...... they tell me this menopause thing ends..... eventually..... hopefully before I'm dead......... or my friends all wish I were........ now the mood swings...... the mood swings really need their own post..... but I just have this to say......... if you too can also really relate to the whole "Lizzie Borden" and the "Forty Whacks" thing???? Than we MUST talk!!!!! :-) ok....... I have 4 kids, and all the stretch marks to prove it... and if you can't stand reading about other people's kids.... you'd better stop here..... cause you're gonna hear a lot about them!!!! My daughter, Heather, ( my only girl) after having put every gray hair on my head.... has decided to make me a first time Grandmother... this is the thanks I get for 11 hours of labor..... to say nothing of the aforementioned stretch marks.... all over my "You know where"!!!! I'm gonna paste the e mail here..... cause the most important fact about me???? I ramble.... and we could be here all day....... :-) I sent this e mail this morning after my phone call with Heather........ It's called "Mother/Daughter moment..... now.... and then.......





Heather this morning......

"This baby hates me"
(Heather is not a fan of morning sickness)

Then she told me she's already piping music into her belly... which, I think is so neat.... so i asked her what she's playing........ and she named some bands I've never heard of.... and i asked her what they'd done... and she says......

"Heavy Metal".............

I replied....

"No wonder the baby hates you"...............

talk about a captive audience.............

then she wanted to know about the baby's umbilical cord stump........
she still remember's Colt's....


"MY baby's won't look like THAT.... will it"??????
( I've gotten used to this grandmother thing... but every time I hear my little girl say "My baby".... I get choked up, and can't talk for a minute.......)


and just for a minute........ she's 7 again......... with those big blue eyes, and the headful of strawberry blonde curls......... "helping" me with Colt's first diaper at home........



"EEEEWWWWW....... Mama!!! what's THAT"?????!!!!! I didn't have the diaper off yet, and her little finger was pointing towards his belly...... wait till she gets a look at the circumsicion.... God help us all.........


"That's his umbilcal cord stump hun, where he was attached to me".....


She had her pretty little face all scrunched up......

she leaned over her baby brother and said.......

"I love you..... but that is just GROSS"!!!!!!!


and with that.... she did a Heather "Head Toss" ( you'd had to have seen it..... this girl was little miss thing... and she knew it......)


and Miss Heather flounced out of the room.... before I had to explain to her the big owie the Dr had left on her little brother's "Uncle Bob".....

Thank you God............


and as I cooed to my new son.......

"She didn't mean that..... No.... she didn't".....


from the hallway............

"Yes....... I DID"!!!!!!!!!!!


well..... you were the one who wanted to come in here punkin.......


Janine
"Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong; Sometimes it's letting go"
~Sylvia Robinson~